bad blogger

upon glancing at s.w. kaufman's list of friend's recent posts and finding my name down at the very bottom, it hit me - i have grossly neglected my blog life. 

for the past month and a half i have been cursed with dull and tangled thoughts. assuming they would be unintelligible to the masses, i started a journal in the private sphere of Microsoft Word. 37 pages worth. 

some prevailing themes include: 

Distraction. As much as I say I like to be still and quiet, it takes me quite a while to get there. My mind is loud.

Permanence. I need to lie down and meditate on what will not shift; What is constant and true. In the end, what will not pass away? Answer: The Word of God and the souls of men.*

Understanding. I suppose there is no certainty established without seeking Him daily and resting before His throne. I try and figure things out and get answers, attempting to tie up nice, worldly bows on flawless packages before I come and rest in Him. He bids me come - in whatever circumstance, in whatever condition.

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*i cannot give proper attribution, but c. metzler passed on this thought to me.