You, the King & I

In the shade of ancient trees,
your thoughts
take shape.
i wait on them,
expectantly,
as i wait on great poets
to unleash the profound,
and lace it with beauty.

Under waltzing clouds,
your unassuming hum
fills my soul
as symphonies do.
All praise you bring
to our Maker
with economy that baffles
all who think themselves skilled and wise.

On a common day in a busy city,
Your child-like glances
countenance me;
Coax me to laughter,
overwhelm the ache of the 'not yet'.
I play so well with you,
I find joy so well
with you.

Simply,
in your presence
i remember…
Life is about
the King
and I.

expression

We dance
clumsily
in the dark
laughing.

We are more in love
with music
than
with grace.

anticipation

What songs
will break forth
from black ink

as we,

gardeners of
malnourished seeds

pour out wonder?

knowing

You patiently wait
for my brokenness to bind
audible utterances
some intelligible,
some unrefined.

Meanwhile
in an expanse
of nocturnal hush

exchanges of silence,
full of knowing
dance between us.

friend

Somewhere contained, unassumingly,

in a common encounter with you

on the couch at dusk, you

not at your best, you

frenzied in your own way, but willing,

is the Poetry that dispels lies.

the restaurant.7

Bandera Restaurant.

(NIKI is talking to TINA. Two gentlemen are being sat at table 33. One of them, a.k.a. 'Uber Attractive Gentleman', catches NIKI's eye.)

NL: So, I was thinking about- WHOA. Hello...who are you...

(NIKI continues to stare at 'Uber Attractive Gentleman'.)

NL: Oh my gosh, I'm staring.
TD: You're also speaking.

(A few minutes later, NIKI walks up to BROOKE, the server for table 33.)

NL: How is my boyfriend?
BK: Who?
NL: Table 33.
BK: He's with his boyfriend.


Tina Doherty
Brooke Kuchuris
Niki LeVoy

what you make of things

i wrote this exactly three years ago on a different blog. it resonated, so i decided to re-post. when i first re-read it i thought it may have been about a specific person. but it just occurred to me that this is about every person.

From artist to human:

I want to travel inside your soul and explore.
I want to know what it is like
to make meaning the way you do.
Witnessing your soul under pressure,
will tell me what volumes of facts cannot.

From human to artist:

Show me
What only you can see.
Express to me
So I might partake of your life
From horror to horror,
From glory to glory.



this is why i'm an actor.

i just want to say...

i am thankful for today. too often, i am guilty of grumbling about the current state of things and for now, i want to resist jumping into that abyss. yes, i am enthralled by the pace of urban life. i like busy. i like intentionality. but not for the sake of scrambling to make a name for myself. not for the sake of impressing the masses. instead, i want to absorb more nuances of the Great Story. they are all around me and ever constant. do they all collaborate for my glory? absolutely not. but for God's glory they do. and if one were to call indulging in these happenings a waste of time, i might inquire of them, "On what basis are you claiming to be the Author of Significance?"

a different economy

My child, this is what life is about: It is about serving one another as long as it is called "today". It is about risking being hurt for the sake of another; unashamed vulnerability. it is about losing for the sake of another; sacrificial love. It is about laying down your pride and surrendering to the reign of the True King, your loving God. It is about loving fiercely and holding loosely, for it I who hold all things in the palm of My hand.

constancy

how shall i rest my heart on your graces?
how shall i make my dwelling
in the midst of your glory?

rehearse, rehearse, rehearse:

you sustain me
when inadequacy depletes my livelihood.
you shape me subtly
as a stream embraces a stone.

a request

when i am fixated and stubborn,
pry my heart
from things to which it clenches
for survival -
save for you.

when i hold funerals for emaciated dreams
resurrect in my imagination
new hopes in the way of your kingdom.

when i climb too high, too blindly,
plunge me from the tower
of vain and narrow thought; and

as i fall, may i sing,
“beautiful ways will come to pass,
in you, no thing is wasted.”

him and me

This evening, as I finished my last bite of yogurt (dinner, after a feast of a lunch), the question arose from me to me, “How is it that I can live such a charmed life and my Savior, who was so tortured that he was revolting to look upon, lived a life of sorrow and haunting rejection?” Lately, I’ve been faced with the ever-solidifying concreteness of who I am and who God is. This is growing in the heart knowledge of the gospel, I suppose. I really am a wretch; he really is lovely beyond description. I am full of contradictions; his integrity is wondrously perplexing. His tenderness secures my hearts deepest affection. His bold endurance leaves me assured that I am loved by my brother, the Son of God. He set his hope on me and stayed on the cross. I stay my heart on his victory and know that my hope in him will never be disappointed.

interfering with idols

as i stood in line at literati cafe, i noticed intently the people that filled the room. they seemed to be engaged (if not with another person, with their book or their computer) and having a nice time. i enjoyed watching them and looked on everyone favorably. it was then that i caught myself perplexed - why do these people in this restaurant strike me in such a different way from the people in my restaurant when i am working? Answer - the people in my restaurant when i'm working have a tendency to get in the way of me and my beloved idols.

if they take to long to order or tip poorly, they are interfering with the ease and expected monetary reward of my job (what i call fairness and others rightly call entitlement). if they are bothersome and needy, again, they are not functioning to make my life easier. basically my mentality at work is not the sacrificial "my life for yours" but the selfish and abusive "your life for mine".

i've been reminded that i continually have to work the gospel out for my heart by looking at Jesus. Jesus did not have an easy life for my sake. Jesus inconvenienced himself for my sake. He endured the pains of betrayal, mockery, ignorance, laziness, deception...and then laid down his life...for my sake.

to echo amy carmichael, go to Calvary and think those thoughts, if you can.

comrades

within these walls,
with these people,
i can take expansive,
audible breaths
and weep
from the depths to the heights.

the artist's endeavor

Surrounded by excellence, humility and sobriety, I watch the people of God press into His glory. They navigate through a muddy course in search of an exceptional way of saying, "Thank you."

dwelling deep

His Father said, "Too much of thy surface is exposed to the breath of every wind that bloweth. Thou must learn to dwell deep."

And the son who had wavered answered humbly, "Renew within me a settled spirit. Establish me with Thy directing Spirit. My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed. I will sing and give praise."

- a. charmichael