everyday his love saves me

Last night it was not my wish that I fall asleep ungrateful and overwhelmed. Exhausted as I was, I resisted my bed and hit the couch with my most recent literary gift: Bonhoeffer's Letters and Papers from Prison. Reading B. destroys any misconceptions regarding that which is fundamental and glorious: The fact that there is such a thing as eternity and that Christ is my eternal hope. Who He is and what He has done are more real than the things that overwhelm me. 

To whom or what does my peace and hope truly belong? Lately, I have been challenged by this question (more than usual) and the answer has not been a very pleasant one. Usually it is something like "My peace...is having my own way." 

I've spent the majority of today plugging along letter by letter. I am particularly fond of the letters B. wrote to his friend. 

November 18, 1943

...And if it should be decided that we never meet again, let us remember one another to the end with thoughts of gratitude and forgiveness - and may God grant that we may stand together before his throne one day, praying for one another and joining together in praise and thanksgiving.

I feel a little guilty for my attitude of preferring not to talk with anyone, but it seems no one else's words have held the weight of his, thereby continually leaving me a frustrated conversationalist. A couple of people do come to mind when I think of conversation that is likely to be enjoyable on a day like this. But...

I'm choosing not to call. 

        *  *  *  *  *  *  

I am reminded of grace as I sit stubbornly...

Never doubt My love for you. Be not overwhelmed by grief. It has been my joy to save you. In My love stand complete. 

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Each day tells the other

my life is but a journey

to great and endless life.

O sweetness of eternity

may my heart grow to love thee:

my home is not in time's strife. 

(Tersteegen)