muted

this morning i had an experience where i felt disregarded by someone i admire.  i panicked. when did i suddenly become commonplace? insignificant? 

i remember now what was said on sunday and it quiets me: there is not a person who dares to wake the king at 3 am.  nobody except the king's kid that is. and i am the daughter of the king. i am in my nightgown in the middle of the night, running barefoot down the hall of the palace. i charge through the door and take a flying leap onto the bed of my father and yell, "wake up, i need to talk to you!" 

and here, i am not ignored. i experience that i am loved and such a love affirms me. there is nothing i can do to make myself less wanted by him. in this moment, my livelihood is not at the mercy of my record.